The 5 Weirdest Games You Need To Play

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By Stephanie Smith – 30th May 2015
The 5 Weirdest Games You Need To Play

Do you ever play a game and feel as if your brain and eyes have been violated? This happens with alarming frequency for me. I have seen things, things that can’t be explained with “Oh, Japan”, things that keep you up at night wondering what you just witnessed.

So here we go, the 5 weirdest games you need to play*

*Disclaimer: Gamer Headlines is not responsible for any emotional scarring, emotional distress or involuntary bowel movements caused by the viewing of this list.

5. Goat Simulator

I play a lot of simulation games, I’ll play flight simulators, drowning simulators, I’ll even play games that simulate the life I could be living if I wasn’t playing the game. However, this goat simulator sort of broke my brain a little.

Nothing to see here.

Nothing to see here.

Goat simulator is the Grand Theft Auto of the video game animal world. It is just full on craziness most of the time. I’m not sure if it’s the fact you can drag people along with your tongue or simply the completely crazy physics, but one thing is sure: it’s weird, it’s weirder than the LSD Dream Simulator and the goat couldn’t give a cow pat.

4. Muscle March

I sacrificed my innocence to bring you pictures of this game. 

Muscle March

…*shudder*

When a thief steals your steroids there is only one thing to do. Chase him down wearing only a speedo while flexing your muscles. The thief can naturally run straight through walls leaving handy holes for you to run through. It’s simple, just match the shape of the hole with one of you flexing poses and then chase that thief down. You get a variety of characters to play as including a polar bear. If you can stomach the sight of a gyrating bear buttock then by all means go play this on your Wii.

3. Mount Your Friends

Not weirded out by the last two games? Well, how about we combine them?

Mount Your Friends

I lost track of all the laws of nature I’m breaking.

This game is mildly horrific and certainly NSFW thanks to the jiggle physics in the crotch area.

The objective is simple, climb to the white line by scaling the muscular bodies of your many semi-nude friends who, judging by their pants, are very happy to see you. Also, this all takes place on top of a goat. I’m not entirely sure if this is an orgy, discrete bestiality or something secretly profound. I do know it is incredibly weird though.

2. Cho Aniki

Super Big Brother is a gut-churning homoerotic side-scrolling adventure beat-em-up.

Cho Aniki

Oh, look Thomas the Tank engine on LSD

This game is actually very popular and has several spin-offs and sequels spanning various platforms. However, nothing seems to be able to justify a buff tank engine with a face like a Doctor Who villain in my mind. This game makes me want to curl up in a corner and cry in confusion. What could possibly be weirder than this?

1. Plug & Play

Decidedly less saucy than I thought it would be, Plug & Play is just a constant prolonged monochrome state of confusion. I don’t know what fever dream the creator was having when he made this game, but it is incredibly weird.

Plug and play

Oh no, my repressed memories of Human Centipede

Technically speaking, it’s a beautiful love story, but realistically it’s a slightly scary series of WTF moments. I’m just glad it is in black and white because I don’t think I would be able to take it in full color.

For some reason, it is tagged as funny in the Steam store. I can only assume that someone cracked up after being exposed the pure unfiltered weirdness of plugging a butt of a plug man with the head of another plug man repeatedly.

Those are the top five weirdest games you have to play. some honorable mentions include: No Mouth But I Must Scream, Sanitarium, Postal, Rust, Total Distortion and The Zoo Race

If you like this why not have a look at my Top 5 Indie Game list?